“Why did I take a personality quiz with my boyfriend.”
Using a diagram as seen above, you write down all the overlapping adjectives and those that are not in the four quadrants of the window. Depending on how correlated your answers are, each quadrant will reveal one of four situations.
How openly you present yourself to others (The Public Self)
How Do You Really See Yourself (The Private Self)
How Others See You (The Blind Self)
What You Don’t Know About Yourself (The Undiscovered Self)
After reading on Johari’s window, there was no way I could not convince my boyfriend to exercise with me.
Thinking about the future, due to how my boyfriend knew me, I expected that we would have at least 7-8 overlapping words and maybe a few obscure non-overlapping words.
Completely rational wait, right?
My boyfriend is the kind of partner who knows my nuances so well that he can sense that something is happening without me having to say anything. He wired my behaviors into his brain and watched me exhibit all the moods on the spectrum. This was the guy who knew he was about to be forced to take some sort of quiz just by the look in my eyes when I said “Oh my god I have to show you something.”
After a rushed talk about what Johari’s window was, I grabbed two pens and a few scraps of paper and we got to work.
Separately, we jotted down the words we thought best describe to me. Once we both picked out our chosen words, I eagerly grabbed his paper and started sorting them in Johari’s window diagram.
To my surprise, we only had 3 overlapping words. THREE.
I was confused, not only because of the lack of matching words, but because even though it took me five whole minutes to select the words, it took about 40 seconds. He was clearly more sure of who he saw me than I was.
After I released my initial shock, I took a look at the quadrant titled “The Blind Self”. (These were the words he chose to describe me that I had not chosen myself.)
I went through the list and saw that there were quite a few words that I agreed with that I wouldn’t necessarily have put in my top ten. For example, the word “sensitive” came up.
In all honesty, I would like to think I’m reasonable enough, but there were definitely words that I thought portrayed me better.
I was led to ask him, why? Why “sensitive”. Especially since he’s one of the few people to have seen me as little as reasonably possible. His answer ? “Well, financially you are one of the smartest people I know. ”