When is a good time to talk to kids about sex? | New times
Parents are often reluctant to educate their children about sex, leaving it to teachers who barely cover it. But when is the right time to talk about it? Some will say in their teens because that’s when they can be handled, while others say right after their first period, which could even be at the age of 10. However, Healthline says talking to your kids early and often is the best way. to make sure they are making good choices about puberty and sex. Also, if your child doesn’t ask questions about sex, don’t wait for her. Be the one to initiate the conversation once they reach pre-teen age.
How to prepare for these conversations
• Know the anatomy. Learn the proper names for each part of the body.
• Be honest. Don’t be afraid to admit to your child that you feel embarrassed to talk about it too. This type of empathy can help your child feel comfortable and ask for more.
• Report. Tell your stories about your own experiences growing up.
• Address appearances. Talk about acne, mood swings, growth spurts, and hormonal changes and how these things can happen at different times for different children and how completely normal that is.
• Listen. Listen actively and maintain eye contact. Don’t ask too many questions and be general if you do.
• Be respectful. Choose a quiet, private place to talk. Respect their desire to talk only to mom or dad about certain topics.
• Provide resources. Create a list of websites and books that offer information about sexuality that you think is accurate.
The main points of discussion
Children will have lots of questions regarding sex, be prepared to answer specific questions briefly, but also be sure to explain the following well while having the conversation, as suggested by Healthline:
• What to expect in terms of body changes, such as pubic and armpit hair, voice changes (boys) and breast changes (girls).
• That they have “private parts” and be sure to reiterate that no one, not even a friend or family member, is allowed to touch these areas.
• Educate children about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as gonorrhea and HIV / AIDS. Tell them how to protect themselves from STDs and how to avoid getting pregnant.
• Parents can tell children what to do if they feel pressured to have sex before they are ready. For girls, what to do the first time they have their period, including how to use a pad or tampon and what to expect in terms of pain. For boys, tell them what to do if they ejaculate or have a “wet dream”.
Dangers of not telling children about sex
For some parents, sex education is sometimes a touchy subject to discuss, while for others it is even a taboo that should not be mentioned at home. But it is dangerous to be reserved about sex at home.
Jane Uwimana, health and development communication expert, explains that parents who are reluctant to talk about sex with their children may make them look elsewhere, mostly out of curiosity.
“If you haven’t told your children that no one has any rights over their bodies but them, and if you help them be aware of who might want to take advantage of them, they don’t understand their value,” says -she.
Uwimana notes that talking to children about sex is a powerful weapon in helping them live their own lives. A child who has not been educated about sex will not know how to protect their body or how to overcome any challenges that may come their way.
“By giving the example of a child who has not been educated about sex, in case he finds himself raped, he could be traumatized and not tell anyone, which will have a huge impact on him. A child who has had sexual discussions with a parent might talk to him because he already knows what to do, ”she says.
According to Xavier Kanyambari, a psychologist, the fact that parents do not standardize sex education at home, or that sex is a taboo subject in society, has a negative impact on children.
“As a parent, it’s your responsibility to talk to your kids about sex as they get older. If they do not know what it is, when they have sex, they do not protect themselves and risk contracting diseases or pregnancy.
It is not necessary to give too much information at once. The conversation will evolve as your child gets older and starts asking different questions.