I just had the sexual experience that every man dreads the most.
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Dear how to do,
I apologize in advance. It can make you wince.
Yesterday I first met a new friend who I hung out with several times after months of chatting online. I had a great evening and can’t wait to see her again. The only problem: she got a little clumsy giving me a blowjob and bit my penis pretty hard.
The skin has not broken, but I am currently writing this email from an emergency room waiting room as the area she bit is now swollen and dark red. My question is: how do I tactfully make him understand that his blow sent me to the hospital? I am not angry or upset. I understand that accidents happen. Damn! It’s not even the first sex-related injury I’ve had. I just want her to know what happened without her feeling bad about it.
– Love bite
Stoia: OK. I have given sex partners gonorrhea. I left several weird bruise-like abrasion situations with my vagina.
Rich: Where are the bruises and grazes? Like, on the penis?
Stoya: Yeah, on the penis, like on the shaft. I think it’s something to do with the condom involvement and maybe they need some lube inside.
Stoia: I definitely bit people with my teeth. In fact, I have a lot of experience when I have been told that I have injured or infected people. All of these people had quite a bit of sexual experience and knew me to some extent. I guess they tailored their post to meet my specific needs, but everyone used a sense of humor.
Rich: It still works.
Stoia: You don’t want to use a sense of humor when telling another person that you’ve given them an STI. You want to be serious about this. But when the person you gave the STI to … that person told me they had a new nickname for me. And it was “the clap fairy”. He’s Tinkerbell’s sassy cousin.
I might suggest something like, “Hello, human, here’s a list of all the sexual injuries I’ve suffered. The last one is you. Hope to see you again. ”That makes it clear that, hey, that’s okay. You’re an item on a list.
Rich: I do not know. I have to tell you if someone bit my dick and sent me to the ER I would at least be a little scared to see them again, just in terms of risk avoidance, harm reduction. I don’t want you to bite my cock. I know it happens. I certainly liked it – it’s always weird when you give a blowjob and feel like you’re doing a good job. And then all of a sudden your teeth get involved in a way that you feel and you’re like, “Well, if I felt it, then he felt it. “
Obviously, these things happen. I find it hard to imagine a situation where the penis is a little hard enough. I mean, I’m guessing maybe you’re losing control or he’s doing something else to her and she’s sort of losing her ability to …
Stoia: I am not 69 years old.
Rich: You don’t have 69 for this reason.
Rich: This is bad for figuring out what to do for women.
Stoia: Yes. When you can’t really get a good angle on one of the fun parts, use your elbows to support yourself… anyway.
Rich: I feel like humor is the right thing. I have a hard time putting myself in this guy’s shoes, because I don’t think I would share the information, and I think I would take that just like, okay, not the cocksucker for me.
Stoia: I mean, I have a pretty delicate body in some ways, and I have suffered a number of sexual injuries. I can absolutely put myself in his shoes. With a partner who has a penis, they move the wrong way a little too deep and it hurts, and that’s the end of sex for an hour or so that night. But unless they’re weird about it, that was never the end of sex for me.
Rich: Fair enough. I guess from a practical point of view I’m wondering how useful this information could be. If there is anything with the technique that needs to be reported so that it doesn’t bite people and send them back to the ER, I understand. But if this is some freak accident right now that could have happened, it’s kind of like, OK, now you come into the realm of, what are the practical implications? Maybe she feels bad about it and your cock is already bruised. You know?
Stoia: I think it’s really important to establish whether this is something all the time and he has to take oral sex off the table, or if it is an abnormal accident. He doesn’t have the data to find out. I think he needs to talk about it to get that data and then decide if it’s safe to continue.
Rich: I think the idea of approaching this with humor, because it’s a bitten dick and it’s kinda funny – as long as the dick doesn’t come off or require major surgery, that’s a bit comical. Approaching with humor makes sense. It’s really a question of what you actually want to gain from this conversation, I think that should guide the way forward.